There comes a time when the body just gives up on you whilst your mind keeps pushing you beyond the limits. It’s been almost two weeks since I took the intermission, and it has been a lifesaver!
Instead of drowning in studies, I needed to surf those waves. What began as a period of insomnia, working beyond my ability and not going to the gym became a time of reckoning. I needed to get myself out of this cycle, and to my mother’s dismay, it was either through doing a law degree or taking a break from studies.
Although my dream has been to become a lawyer, I realise now the mental toll it would take on me to handle screaming clients, murder suspects and potential kidnappers in a degree that is both financially and mentally draining.
One of the reasons that drew me to do an IT-related degree is the possibility of doing hybrid work and having more time to spend with my family and potential family. I wanted a job that was both intellectually stimulating as well as financially rewarding. So law just wasn’t the path for me.
Throughout the past few weeks, I have done some soul-searching and come to face the facts. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to respect you. But when I look at myself, I need to love what I see, which was well said by Sheryl Lee Ralph:
“People don’t have to like you. People don’t have to love you. They don’t even have to respect you. But when you look in the mirror, you better love what you see!”
Yes, I may have been through some (poop emoji), but I can’t let that define me.
“…in that moment I stopped seeing myself as the victim of bad circumstance, and saw my life as the ultimate training ground instead”.
– David Goggins (Can’t Hurt Me)
I can’t keep victimising myself and letting that define me. Yes, I am a victim, but I was also the perpetrator of that victimisation. It was time to face the facts; not everyone is going to like me, and that shouldn’t mean I stop liking myself. I should strive to be happy and change my mindset in the process. It takes great courage to be disliked and even more courage to like yourself when no one does.
“What happened in the past has nothing whatsoever to do with you here and now, and what the future may hold is not a matter to think about here and now.”
– The Courage to be Disliked
The more you achieve, the more you improve, the better your self-respect. I need to embrace the waves of life as they come. Cherish the good moments and hug the bad ones. It’s just part of life, and this is the moment of actual truth.
“happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.”
– Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness
“However, if we can transform our attitude towards suffering, adopt an attitude that allows us greater tolerance of it, then this can do much to help counteract feelings of mental unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and discontent.”
– Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness
As I learnt from The Art of Happiness, the only way to find true happiness and inner peace is connection, changing your mindset and coding yourself to hope…
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